Movin’ on Up

The sun is shining. The ice is melting. Georgia will have spring weather next week. We are supposed to have temperatures up in the 70s by Friday, the 21st. I can’t wait. I truly do not care if I ever see snow or ice ever again. Usually, I am not one to complain about the cold. I used to really enjoy cold weather. However, the older I have gotten, the more the cold makes me ache. I do love Spring and Fall. They are probably my favorite seasons. Spring feels so fresh and clean. Everything is being reborn. Fall is crisp and smells like leaves and bonfires and football games. I am anticipating Spring.

It is time for The Fat Girl Next Door to move on up. Today, when I got on my exercise bike, I found the pedaling to be very easy. That has NEVER happened. So, I decided the time has come to move it up a notch. Granted, I was only pedaling at Level 2, although I usually pedal a moderate 14 mph and on certain workouts, a vigorous 17-20 mph. Today, I kicked it up to Level 3 and was able to maintain a vigorous 17 mph for my 16 minute ride. On days I have a date with Jillian Michaels, I only bike 15-16 minutes to ensure I get a 45 minute workout.

I put in the dreaded Jillian Michaels “Ripped in 30” DVD and began the 30 minutes of torture. I really prefer “Body Revolution”, because in Phase One, it truly is a little easier for me. I alternate it with “Ripped in 30” and I only do those workouts every other day. I know Jillian expects everyday, but a friend I greatly admire and respect, told me to wait a full day between anything having to do with weights. On my “off circuit days” I bike at a vigorous mph for 30 minutes and also throw in a walk outdoors.

Today, as I followed along with Jillian, I began to plan my blog. I made a mental grocery list and planned supper for the next two days. I reminded myself to send a message to Mufasa in Germany and have him call me. Then, it hit me. I was more than half way through my usual Week One exercise session. I didn’t feel like I was going to puke. I was sweating, but I wasn’t having to stop the DVD after every circuit to catch my breath and have a drink of water. I wasn’t even thinking, “OH MY GOD, PLEASE SWITCH TO FLOOR EXERCISES BECAUSE I AM GOING TO DIE.”

Then, I realized my weights were above my head like they were supposed to be. I was lunging and lifting without feeling a pull or strain. I had a HUGE moment of pride. Jillian wasn’t kicking my fanny. I was kicking hers. I was DOING this workout. She had NOT defeated me. I glowed at the thought of how the first day, I had collapsed in a soggy heap in the middle of pushups. I had to take a rest break after the FREAKING warm-up. I was always a beat behind Jillian, because I had to use the coffee table to pull myself up off the floor. I had done this! I was officially on my way to being RIPPED IN 30!!!! (years, maybe. If I am not too old then. Can you be ripped at age 76?)

Then, reality crashed in. My moment of pride gave way to a moment of horror. Dear Lord, I have to move up to Week 2. I suppose while I am at it, I had best buy another set of hand weights as well. It is time to move up in weight. I guess the 50 pounders just aren’t cutting it anymore. Ok, ok, I don’t use 50 pounders. I am pretty sure I can’t begin to lift 50 pounds, I use 3 pound weights. I guess I am going to move up to 5 pound weights.

I am still on Phase One of “Body Revolution” and think i will be there quite awhile longer. However, Monday, I move up to Week 2 of “Ripped in 30,” or as I call it, “Jillian gets revenge on me for daring to let my mind wander during one of her workouts.”

Disclaimer: I receive nothing from Jillian Michaels for talking about her or her products. Nothing free, no recognition, no promotions. I bought my “Ripped in 30” at WalMart for 9.99. Ariel brought me “Body Revolution.”


I’m Not Sick; I’m Just a Little Unwell

     I was very disappointed in last night’s Super Bowl. I am not a fan of either team, but I hate runaway games. I want to see a good, close, fight it out to the bitter end game. Last night’s was boring. Even the commercials didn’t live up to their usual standards. I did enjoy the Radio Shack commercial with the 80s icons. The Budweiser ads were cute as well, but none were just simply amazing. However, I really enjoyed Bruno Mars at half-time. Best half-time show in years, at least to me.

     I woke up this morning feeling nauseated. Not a hangover, because I only had two glasses of wine, Each glass was consumed between 4pm and 6pm. After that, I switched to unsweetened tea with lemon. I thought maybe it was just the amount of different types of foods I had consumed. I tracked everything I ate though and nothing jumped out. I made my healthy bean dip and had a serving of it with some baked chips. Those were in individual serving bags, and I only ate one bag, so I didn’t OD on chips.

     I ate spinach dip, but I eschewed crackers and only ate celery, carrots and broccoli with it, so no real damage there. I had chicken wings, but mine were broiled and were served sans sauce. I had two brownie bites and two bites of cake. This was all spread out of 4 hours. There was no “pigging out.” I went over my calories by 400, but 300 of that was from my two glasses of wine.

     I finally narrowed it down, I think. I believe I am becoming lactose intolerant in my old age. I don’t seem to have a problem with fermented dairy such as hard cheeses, yogurts, even fro-yo. The last time I felt like this was about a month after my gallbladder surgery, which was in May of 2013. I went with a friend in June to try a new restaurant. For dessert, I had a slice of cheesecake and felt horrible afterwards. I have found that finishing milk after a bowl of cereal makes me feel slightly queasy. Ice cream and milkshakes all seem to sit very heavily on my stomach as well. The spinach dip I ate last night had cream cheese in it, as well as two appetizers another friend had made.

     I have no problem eating light today. I can’t stand the thought of eating much of anything. I had some green tea for breakfast. I was hoping it would settle my tummy. No such luck. I took a nap and hoped that would help. Again, no. I drank a bottle of water and that made it worse.

     I finally broke down and cracked open a Coca-Cola to sip. I haven’t had any type of soda in three weeks. I also have eaten a Jello cup. I used to be a soda addict. Seriously, I drank at LEAST 36 a week, if not more. It was probably more. I know 6 a day was nothing for me at all. I was a little nervous about sipping this one. Truthfully? It tastes way too sweet. So did the Jello. Not only have I not been putting much sugar in my mouth lately, I also haven’t put artificial sweeteners in my mouth either. My sugar intake has come from apples and blueberries and the occasional piece of 80% dark chocolate, which doesn’t taste sweet at all. I’ve gotten used to drinking seltzer water with fruit flavors. I am going to keep sipping the Coke, because my tummy is feeling less queasy, but I have a feeling it will take all night. 

     I am also using today as my rest day. Any movement makes me feel urpy. I also think it would be stupid to pick up weights or truck it outside on an empty stomach. This needs to go away though, so I can get back on track tomorrow.

     The good news? Didn’t gain an ounce last night. I had a great time with my friends and never felt deprived or even hungry. In the end, that is really what matters.

Disclaimer: Coca-Cola did not give me anything in exchange for mentioning the fact I am sipping their syrupy concoction to settle my nausea.No pay, no freebies.

How Many Calories are in Ibuprofen or The Fat Girl Next Door Exercises

     Remember the whole best laid plans from yesterday? Well. Around 7pm, I went to cook my frittata. I sliced my veggies and then realized, I was out of gas. I run my stove only on propane. Our heat is electric. So, rather than deal with AmeriGas, whom I despise, we just use a little 30 pound tank. It lasts us about 2.5 months. We ended up eating leftovers and salads. It was all good. This morning, I called Tractor Supply to 1. See if they were open ( I live in the South, we had a “snow event.” That is a blog for another day) 2. To make sure they had propane. There is a propane shortage. I think it is everywhere. They were open. No propane, though. We certainly are not going to starve. I am adaptable. I also own a toaster oven, microwave oven, griddle, two slow cookers, and a deep fryer. Tonight, I am cooking fajitas. Low calorie, because it is simply seasoned beef with peppers and onions.

     I am not going to post my recipe because it is simple. However, if you need one, my friend Rachael Monaco has a great one here. Feel free to substitute chicken or beef for the shrimp. I also prefer a warm corn tortilla to save on some calories.

     Today is Wednesday. My rest day from exercise. I am so happy. I was telling my sister, Judy Jetson (name changed, privacy, yada yada yada), how much I hate exercising. She stated that EVERYONE hates exercising. I asked about people who run marathons. She stated these people had simply found an exercise they hate less than any of the others. Interesting thought.

     Let me start out saying I hate my exercise routine–With the white-hot passion of a million suns in a million different solar systems to the millionth power. BUT. It is sadly good for me. I can barely move. Every muscle deep inside is SCREAMING at me. I find it akin to torture. But my blood pressure, which has been completely unstable for years, even with meds, has run around 119/79 since I started hurting myself, torturing myself exercising. So, I SUPPOSE I will continue this.

     I have been on my lifestyle change (remember, not a diet) for almost three weeks. Week One, I spent just adjusting to tracking my food, making healthy choices, googling all my beloved fattening foods and planning. Week Two, I decided I needed a little exercise thrown in there. Mickey bought me a recumbent bike almost a year ago. I’ve spent that year decorating it for Christmas, looking at it and THINKING about exercising, moving it around my living room, offering to sell it for extra cash and sitting on it when I have more company than seating. I decided to FINALLY bite the bullet and get on it. Day One, I rode for 20 minutes and it was okay. Days two and three I bumped it to 30, still ok, but I really felt I should be doing MORE. I am unsure as to why I thought this, since I didn’t want to do anything anyway.

     For some strange, crazy reason (alien attack in my head maybe?) when we went to Wally World last Friday morning, I bought a Jillian Michaels DVD and a set of three pound hand weights. It’s the DVD “Ripped in 30.” It doesn’t say 30 what. I suppose for MOST people it is probably 30 days, but for me? MAYBE 30 weeks. I am thinking it will more than likely be 30 months and quite possibly 30 years. I can tell you I have done Week One for 5 days and I am no where near ready to move to Week Two. I am thinking HER Week One will be my Month one. The good part about this DVD is she shows modifiers and it is circuit based. Just about the time I think “I am dying, Jesus here I come.” she switches the exercise and I can somewhat breathe. I can now plank for an entire 7 seconds on a good day.

     The DVD runs about 24 minutes. I am also biking for 16 minutes at a moderate pace. I personally think it is an ATOMIC pace, but that is because I haven’t biked since I was 16. So, I am now exercising for 40 minutes. Because I am TFGND, I burn lots of calories, too. About 650 each session. I can tell because I have never had sweat fall of me the way it does when I am following Jillian. I look like the Wicked With of the West after Dorothy throws water on her. I also have a greenish hue to my skin because all that exercise makes me feel as if I were going to puke.

     I am unsure how and why anything that makes me feel as if I were going to puke is good for me. I also hate the fact that I had better do my blogging and any housework prior to the workout because once I actually do the workout, I am useless. My legs don’t even want to carry me down the hall to the bathroom. Then, they don’t want to squat, so I can sit on the toilet. Once down, they don’t want to raise me back into an upright position. In fact, I have a large pot sitting on my stove that is clean. It belongs in the bottom of the pantry. Know why it isn’t there? BECAUSE I AM NOW INCAPABLE OF BENDING DOWN TO PUT IT THERE. I have had open heart surgery, gallbladder surgery, three c-sections, an appendectomy, tonsils removed, broken bone set, and nothing has hurt as badly as exercising to Jillian. Ok, maybe the open heart surgery, but that is it.

     In order to get my body to cooperate, I have to promise it the recliner and a few Motrin when I am done. I spend the rest of the evening and the next day saying “ow, ow, ow” up until it is time to start the whole routine all over again. The funny part in all this? I was really looking forward to today. My body does need a rest after circuit training. But strangely, instead of being happy, I have felt irritable all day.

     In order to motivate, I made a kick-a$$ Exercise playlist on Spotify. Stuff from the 80s up until now, all very fast-paced. I like to start with Springsteen’s “Born to Run” (which yes, is actually 1974) and then let it shuffle around. If you are interested in looking or listening to my playlist, you can find me as hobbs6799 on Spotify.

     Oh, and just in case you wondered. Ibuprofen doesn’t have any calories.


Disclaimer Section:

I received no pay, no freebies or anything else from AmeriGas for hating them or from Tractor Supply for being unable to purchase propane from them.

Jillian Michaels has no clue I exist. She has given me no pay for mentioning her either. WalMart is the same, nothing free, no free products, no money for saying I shop there. Honestly, I am a little afraid of what would happen if Jillian knew I existed. She scares me.