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Let it Go

Today is just a very quick check-in to say hello. Hope everyone is having a great weekend. The weather here is beautiful. I am very ready for Spring to arrive. I am not ready to spring my clock forwards, though. I like having the sun out in the evening and late afternoon, but I really hate losing that hour. It seems as if I can tell and miss it for weeks.

I have had a pretty rough weekend. I need to just let it all go. I got into a petty, stupid fight on stupid Facebook with someone. This person is no longer a part of my life and is not someone I have to see or deal with on a daily, weekly or monthly basis. I do not know why I let this person get under my skin. But he did. He implied stuff and behaved in what I can only describe as a “douchey” manner. I didn’t have to sink to his level, but I did. I said something very unkind and mean. I can make all the excuses I want, but ultimately, I am responsible for MY behavior. No one else. Sadly, while part of my brain knows this, the other part does not and is wildly cooking up revenge schemes.

I know I am hurting no one but myself. But it is so hard to let go of anger and resentment and hurt feelings. Any other time and I would have eaten my feelings away. I guess that is what I am struggling with. Having to actively deal with how I feel, instead of putting them away in a tight little box of Oreos, or Girl Scout cookies, or Key Lime Pie or Pizza or French Fries, and well, this list could go on without end.

I was up until after 4 am this morning. I could not sleep because I was in a RAGE over this incident. I blocked him on Facebook and now I never have to see his comments and he can never see mine. That’s sensible. If I can just convince my head to be sensible. I know ALL the platitudes about how “I am allowing him to take up space in my head,” and “I am only hurting myself,” and “Anger is a base emotion.” But, what is the best way to deal with real, justified (at least to me), anger? I think I will allow myself another day or two to be angry, then I will attempt to let it go.

I think I need to let go of all my anger and frustration that has built up for a long time. I also think I could probably exercise all of my anger out, or at least exercise until I can’t move and can only think about how I need to catch my breath. I can see it now, from smoking addict to food addict to exercise addict. Merely swapping one addiction for another.

I realize I am not being very humorous today. I am just being me and being honest. I am already the bigger person by weight and default. I should let this go.

 

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8 thoughts on “Let it Go

  1. No worries! It was one incident, and you’ve left him in the past. There are those irritating people in all of our lives, and we’ve all lost composure dealing with them. Tomorrow is a new day!

  2. I’m sorry that this person upset you. I wish I knew how to let go of anger, but sadly I don’t. I’m one of those unfortunate individuals who holds on for years. But I agree with the commenter above who said that tomorrow is another day… hope today you are doing better!!!

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